8 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong After Having Children

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

How do you keep your relationship strong after children? It’s hard! It can be so difficult to think of each other when you having a crying child and are surrounded by dirty diapers.

The shift from mommy and daddy to husband and wife can be tricky. I believe that you have to CREATE your own version of happy. Love is a choice!

I am all about creating intentional time in family life, and this extends to time for your marriage.

Think about your family and friends that have children. What do they do to keep the spark? How to they communicate with one another? Or, what are they doing that you DON’T want to be doing? Are there certain concepts and actions that you can emulate to keep your own marriage strong?

Why You Should Make Your Marriage a Priority After Having Children

My husband and I were ecstatic with each of our children. Bringing the babies home and learning to bond with them was an amazing time for us.

We also received lots of advice on parenting from friends and family. What we didn’t receive was advice on how to keep our marriage alive after children. And that what something that we truly needed.

While we didn’t have a bad marriage, we definitely needed a breath of fresh air when it came to making time for each other.

As the kids took up more of our time, we found ourselves like ships passing in the night. We still loved each other, but our marriage had taken a back seat.

To be honest, we may have been good parents but we weren’t exactly the best spouses. Our time together was about the children. We began to drift apart over time.

After several years of this happenings, we realized that we needed to make some changes in order to save our marriage if we wanted to keep it. We need to create a stronger marriage.

I encourage you to make your marriage a priority. Create some alone time throughout the day. Reconnect with each other.

Here are 8 things that we began to do to strengthen our marriage. 

Fight fairly

Fights are going to come up. It’s more a matter of how you fight and what you fight about. Make sure that you are treating your spouse fairly even if you are in an argument.

Have fun together

Remember that you are married to one another! Take time for each other. Have date nights. Spend the evenings together after the kids have gone to sleep. Remind yourselves of the fun you had while dating and try to bring that back.

Be a team together

While I believe that spouses should try their best to retain their individuality, be sure to work as a team. Both of you take care of the house and children. Both of  you need to be making the decisions for the home together.

Forgive each other

Are you in this marriage for the long haul? An important aspect of creating a strong marriage is forgiveness. Don’t hold your spouse hostage over the crabby attitude in the morning because of lost sleep. Don’t constantly nag your spouse over the dirty house if you aren’t going to help out. Forgive each other of your faults and work to help them overcome what is troubling each of you!

Challenge and Encourage One Another

Help your spouse to grow. Do they want to work for a new position? Give them extra time to prep for the interview. Are they expressing desire to start a new goal? Hold them accountable. And while they are beginning something new, remember to encourage them to keep their spirits up. It can be tough to start something new, especially if you already have a lot on your plate.

Accept their flaws

On top of forgiving each other, remember that you are married to a human being. You will both make mistakes. It is important to accept that fact. If it is an issue that truly bothers you, bring up the issue gently without attacking the other person.

Flirt with each other

Keep the spark alive! You were attracted to this person for a reason, or many reasons! Bring those up! Everyone loves to hear a compliment! Date your spouse, even if it means movie night in the living room after the kids have gone to sleep.

Make time for  yourselves individually

This might seem to be contradictory to keeping your marriage strong, but I find this particular one to be very important. When was the last time you took some time for yourself? Took yourself out for coffee (or tea in my case)? Went for a brisk walk without the kids nagging you the entire trip? I have found over the years that the more alone time I have to re-energize myself, the more patient and loving I am towards my family.

The same is also true for my husband! He just went out to grab something from the store and ended up driving the car around to check something on it and he took himself out to eat. And he came back much happier. (And I’m much happier knowing that the car doesn’t have a problem!)

I hope these simple tips to strengthen your marriage help you! They have certainly helped my relationship with my husband over the past few years.

How do you make more time for your marriage? Comment below and let me know!

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8 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Strong After Having Children

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